Tony Pulises

          

That last is an easy one: Stoke because Tony Pulis, and Tony Pulis because Stoke. Regular readers - hi Mum! - will recall that Profile365 has addressed the angry Welshman before, in tandem with his stylistic soulmate Sam Allardyce. We praised his willingness to play the brutal villain, the thuggish yang to the Wengerian yin, on the basis that spice is the variety of cooking and Stoke, though not to everybody's taste, are an essential part of a healthy, balanced diet. Opinions, eh? You can't trust them.That's how it used to work - and yes, naturally you're sceptical, but is there really any other explanation for the remarkable contrast between in-game Pulis and pre-/post-game Pulis? No, no there is not - but it's starting to break down. Some people will tell you this is the natural consequence of the team's failure to evolve, that still waters lead only to stagnation. Others will point to a recruitment policy of dubious and expensive provenance, and a squad short on variety and imagination. Those in the know will be aware that Mr Anthony Pulis has exceeded his brief, and fatally mellowed his crazed alter-ego with light jazz and homemade crumpets.Since then, while Pulis has remained Pulis, Stoke have kind of stopped being Stoke. It's not just that they're losing, though at the time of writing they sit bottom of the form table, having taken just one lonely point from the last six games. It's that they've been rubbish in a weirdly passive, thoroughly un-Stoke way, as though the entire squad is preoccupied with the state of their immortal soul. As I sow, shall I not reap? thinks Ryan Shawcross, as he lets the opposing striker amble past. Does violence, perhaps, beget violence? ponders Jonathan Walters, as the second ball bounces on past. BREAK SMASH ROAR ARRGH MEAT! muses Andy Wilkinson, because there's always one.The game of having opinions thrives on conflict. Where two or three gather in football's name, there discord will be. Yet whether Stoke survive this terribly-timed slump or not, and whatever Pulis & Pulis get up to in the future, he/they have achieved something mighty special during their time at the Britannia, something above and beyond mere results.Why is this happening? There are opinions, of course, but here at Profile 365 we prefer to deal only in hard facts, as Rafa Benitez said to the [joke deleted for legal reasons]. And it's a little known one that there are in fact two Tony Pulises There's only two Tony Pulises. Two Tony Pulises. There's only two Tony Pulises.